Last year, if there was one thing that I did right, it was attending balu mama(Balu swamigal) ‘s final rites. The greatest Balu mama attained samadhi on 20-jan-2016 on bheeshma ekadesi day. Balu mama does not know me at all. I got to know a bit more about Mahaperiyava when i saw all Balu mama ‘s videos on experiences with Mahaperiyava on Youtube.

I had such an instant connection that I can tear up anytime I think of him. My first visit to Sankara matam was in 2013 . My only wish was that since I can’t see Mahaperiyava in person, the next person alive that I wanted to first see in matam should be Balu mama. I heard he had got sanyaasam and he might not be there in the matam at the time I had visited in September 2013

I was eagerly waiting with my sister and my good friend,sankar, in a small open area in the matam. A few minutes went by and I saw someone slip and fall. Both my sister and I responded to help that person who looked so fragile. He got up on his own ,looked at us ,smiled and said I am okay and went inside a room to see puduperiyava . Only when he walked past me, I realised it was Balu swamigal. I had tears I could not control. The first person I wanted to meet was Balu mama and yes I did.

My sister and I were seated at a distance away from a group of people who were waiting for puduperiyava to come out and give darshan.

After some.Time, Balu mama came out. The group of people divided themselves into two sets to give way for Balu mama to walk. Mama took a side turn and walked towards us. I froze. He looked at me and asked ‘ epdi irukka, enga irukka ippo nee’. I am sure he to be someone else but it never mattered. Mama spoke to me, a very ordinary soul and that’s all mattered. I froze. My mind blanked out. I said I live in Coimbatore when infact I live in Chennai 😂. My sister then corrected saying we live in Chennai.

I immediately did namaskaram to mama and my sister followed suit. I saw mama blessing my sister . To my eyes, the blessing was from mahaperiyava.
That was it. My day was done.

I never saw Balu mama after that ,every time I went to matam.

Fast forward, Jan 20th 2016, my sister messaged me that Balu mama had attained samadhi in the morning. It was already 9:30 when I read that message. I told my mom ,no matter what I will go to kancheepuram. I was so so worried that I might have already missed my presence and the final ceremony would have been over by the time I’d reach the place. It was 1pm or so when I went . Call it luck or coincidence, nothing had started . A few were waiting for Balu mama’s ambulance to come from Chennai to Kanchi and the ambulance was to reach by 2 pm or so. What more did I need that day. Not a grain of rice or a drop of water.

I saw Balu mama for a long time and managed to be there till he was buried. Two lovely souls (two sisters) who used to be called as ‘divine sisters’ of Balu mama by mahaperiyava were my angels that day. They took care of me so well. We had not come prepared with extra clothes. We dipped ourselves in that pond nearby as they said it was mandatory. These two mamis literally helped me dry my clothes , considered me like their own daughter and also dropped me back home just because I said , I don’t know Balu mama enough but I feel connected to mama.

Not a day goes by where I don’t think about mama. I can’t explain this connection either. All I pray for is,when the time comes for me to go to the astral plane, I hope mama is my messenger to periyava to help me move higher in the spiritual astral planes and forgive my mistakes.

Attaching the picture of Balu mama’s paadham taken during his last rites.


Sorry if I have used unorthodox words ,or repeatedly used mama instead of swamigal. Balu mama , he will always be for me.

It’s a given that Balu mama and Mahaperiyava are up there together watching over us and protecting us.


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